Friday, August 14, 2009

I Want.....

It seems inevitable that when I take my three children into a store they are having a case of the "I want this....." Even my two year old has added this to his vocabulary. He loves to say "I like this Daddy" or "I want this Daddy". Of course I reply with a three minute sermon on how ungrateful they can be and how we can't get everything we want all the time, nor is it good to receive all of our desires immediately. About a week ago Andrea, my wife, held a "dream night" for business partners. The women were jewelry consultants and were discussing there hopes and dreams of what this business could do for their own lives. I listened as they shared aspirations about family vacations, college education, newer cars, paid off debts, and increased support for missionaries and mission trips. While listening to them, in my mind I made up my own dream list. It included paying off debts, new outdoor furniture, a concrete floor in my barn, a tractor for the barn, new equipment for my business, and my list went on and on. The next day I was consumed with my dreams which quickly turned into my "wants". Who do I sound like now? Sure enough my kids get it honestly from the man in the house! Time for the three minute sermon in solitude.
I had so quickly turned an inspirational exercise into a depressing and all consuming attitude of "I don't have all the things that I want." As I write this, the words ungrateful and selfish come to mind very rapidly. My ungrateful heart condition was diagnosed lovingly by my wife who shared that I should look around at what I do have and take those things in praise to God. It is tough being knocked down to my knees, but that is the only perspective I need, to be looking up.
Over the past few days I have watched a family grieve the loss of their husband, father, brother, friend, mentor, coach, teacher, and co-worker. As I reflect on the celebration of his life, I thought about who I am and the "wants" that I have placed in my life right now. Gods has written new ones on my heart. It is now up to me whether or not I follow through with them. My new list contains some of the following:

To be a man of God on both the inside and outside equally
To invest time in my family
To invest time in the lives of people around me
To not worry about my task list each day, but instead use God's timing as a standard.
To practice contentment apart from the world's definitions.
To love my wife wholly and honorably
To thirst for truth and sharing it lovingly and honestly with others
To use the talents that I've been entrusted with to show others His love.
To be a man that will be remembered for living a life pointing to something greater than himself

The list may seem daunting and lofty, but I know only one thing for sure, "With Christ All Things are Possible". One day at a time and one decision at a time is all I can do, but He is the one that can shape and me into this list of "I wants" because I believe they are in line with what He wants for me and for you. What are you in want of today? Is it worth the sacrifice of yourself or His Sacrifice?

1 comment:

  1. Well written, Gary. Thank you for living transparently, ever aspiring to more of God in you and through you.