It has been several weeks since I have taken the time to write anything. I ask myself "Why?". The only answer is that I have been too caught up in life itself to step out, listen and digest how God is speaking to me. The past few weeks have been filled with traveling for work, trying to get ready for upcoming furniture shows, getting kids off to a new school year and working on house repair projects. All in all "life" has taken over and I allowed it to happen. I can vividly remember walking out to the barn exhausted to feed our animals and asking myself "is all this worth the efforts you are giving?" I was tired of trying to keep up with all of the daily tasks plus wear all the hats that I have hanging in my "duty closet". Each day I must be a Husband, Father, Employer, Friend, Teacher, Customer Service Rep, Salesman, Animal Caretaker, Groundskeeper, Home Fix-it Man, and the list goes on and on. On top of all these I was feeling like I needed to be a "Super Christian" who has it all together by singing at church, leading worship, teaching teens, and leading a small group. In that moment I could hear myself saying "enough", "I can't handle and juggle all this anymore". I realized that I am trying to live a spiritual and worldly double life.
We live on Liberty Rd. and this is where it all collides for me. I try to keep my worldly things looking like I have it all together. I worry that our house is perfect with nice lawn, landscaping, garden, barn with animals and pasture, successful business with organized shop and beautiful furniture, toys for kids to play on, and so on. I struggle each day to make all of those items stay in check. On the other side of the battle is the spiritual realm of my life where I focus on Christ and working for him. I try to use my talents teaching teens at church, going on mission trips, leading worship at church, singing special music, leading a small group of young adults and being available for others to listen and help in times of need. Then I hear God's voice saying "Do you hear me, where do I fit in? I know that these are all good things are they the best? So much "doing" distracts from listening. Can you just relax and love me? Take time to just listen and allow me to love you". The past few weeks I have allowed my wants and desires to overshadow and distract me from Christ's fulfilling love.
God, thanks for slowing me down enough to listen. I am sorry that I have chosen my way of doing things and not yours for the past few weeks! My heart is to love you and be living a life that is not based on the world's view of success but of yours. There will always be this battle while we live here on earth of the physical and spiritual aspects of our lives. I am learning that the more I lean on Him, a peace that passes all understanding enters my life. I can look at my daily life through spiritual glasses and discern what is truly important. Am I able to this with ease? Not always, but God patiently works with me each day as a loving Papa would do with his children.
Where are you struggling today? What can you give to God? Take time to just sit and listen today. God is waiting to show you if you only take the time to stop and listen. I know that I am not the only one doing this juggling act. I would love to hear from anyone reading this on how they have worked through this daily struggle.
