In the parable of the sower and the seed in Bible Jesus compares the seed to the the truth of God and the soil to the people who are receiving it. We all have the ability to be good soil and nourish what God gives us through His word. He has designed each one of us to be in a relationship with Him and others so that we will glorify Him. Just as the parable states there are many types of soil. He explains each type:
The rocky soil: The truth is heard but does not take root because there is no room for growth
The path: The seed cannot take root because the soil is so hard and will not accept it.
The thorns The truth is heard and starts to grow but suffocated by the thorns and weeds.
The good soil: The truth is heard and the seed grows and flourishes because the soil has been open to tending and cultivating.
This parable was discussed in a book I have been reading called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. He talks about how we have dismissed a God is unbelieveably crazy about us even though we reject Him and abandon His design for us. As I read this section about the parable of the sower Chan posed this thought to me that hit hard. Chan said "Don't assume that you are the good soil" When he said this it made me take a deep look at my life. I had assumed that since I was basically a good person and I accepted Christ that from that moment on I was in the good soil category. After I allowed this sink in and examined my life I realized I would fit more into the thorny soil.
Thorns are anything that distracts us from our relationship with God. When we want God and a bunch of other stuff it chokes out God. These things can be money, sins , addictions, commitments, or anything that competes with our relationship.
It caused me to ask has my relationship and life changed since becoming a follower. Am I becoming more like Him? Am I being transformed? Is my life showing fruit or am I trying to fit Jesus into my nice little life? Am I trying to live a "balanced life"? Has Jesus become another section of my resume in order to project a "good image" prove to God I am worthy? This is a dangerous trap to step into, but so easy.
I find that I am going through a process of taking the thorns out of my soil. Removing habitual sins, allowing Christ to lead me in removing what He wants instead of allowing the influence of the world control me. It is painful and scary at times though. Christ asks us to trust Him fully....that is scary. Why though? Has He ever hurt me? does He not have my best interests in mind? Has He ever led me down a path that was not fruitful? The answer is a resounding "NO"
"What soil are you?"
Life is a journey that we live each day. We can choose each day to embrace the love and grace of God or reject it for our own will. I have found that if I choose the later, I drift toward what is natural to human nature... Sin. These are just my thoughts as I reflect on the scars of my life, my marriage, and my relationship with Christ. The best part is that God has healed them by filling them with his grace.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
What Are Your Intentions?
The Room of Good Intentions
This is going to be the time it is different. I am going to do better, be stronger, work harder and then I will have that closeness with God. If I can just work on my sin and stop doing the same things over and over again then I God will be pleased and the blessings will flow. How many times have you done or said these same things? For me it is an all too familiar tune that keeps replaying in my head. I think that if I can just be better or do things in a way that is acceptable to others then I will be liked and ultimately loved. Performance based conditional acceptance is the trap that I put myself in time and time again. Does this make sense? Does it strike a chord in your heart? Is this the way that God works?
I thought that God worked this way and I had to please Him, if I didn’t then he would punish with disapproval and bad circumstances. So in order to fight this I would put on a mask to everyone. The mask was by creating this person that I thought everyone wanted to see or the person that would be accepted. This guy was great……He always said “YES” so he would not disappoint others. He tried his best to excel in sports, school and career. Failure was not an option. Failure happened but I was good at hiding it so no one could tell. Minimize the damage to the mask.
Of course we all make mistakes, we are human and flawed. I struggled and fought to accept this though. I worked extra hard to not make mistakes. Perfectionism became my god. When I unconsciously chose this life, I heaped a pile of trouble into my lap. By hiding my mistakes meant hiding my sins as well. By doing this I was creating a breeding ground for more sin because sin needs darkness and seclusion to grow. Only when it is exposed to the light will sin slow and dissipate. My mask became bigger and greater as the years progressed. The funny thing is that my mask was created so I would feel the love and acceptance of others. Why did I still feel so empty and tired all the time. I was doing all it took to be loved in public and secretly trying to fill that void in private with an addiction to pornography and lust. It only created momentary satisfaction and then deep despair and depression. I had the intentions to be all that God would be pleased with, but was failing miserably. I had two lives and my mask had to become bigger so I could get more love and flee from the darkness I felt inside. It was ripping me apart! If people knew what I was really like then my world would come crashing down. My acceptance by others would be turned into disapproval and condemnation. If they knew what my daily thoughts were my mask would be crushed.
The scary part was the internal struggle of who I was? Was I this evil person riddled with sin and no way out or was I the man that I thought God wanted me to be? I could feel his presence and at times saying lay down the mask and trust me. The problem was the mask was too big and fastened too tight. It was the only true security that I could tangibly hold. How could I let anybody in? They would surely see me as the evil one that I felt inside. I knew that they approved of the person that they saw on the outside. So I just thought I needed to try harder and be better. My intentions were good. I thought I would be fine.
Does this description of who I was stir up any similarities in your own life? This was who I was a few years ago. Do I still have these thoughts? Yes, at times they creep back into my mind and heart when I allow them. How did I stomp out these lies? I came to conclusion that I could not, it was only by God’s power that my heart and mind was changed. That is when I walked out of the room of good intentions and into the room of GRACE. The room that I am learning to live in each day.....the key word is" learning".
This is going to be the time it is different. I am going to do better, be stronger, work harder and then I will have that closeness with God. If I can just work on my sin and stop doing the same things over and over again then I God will be pleased and the blessings will flow. How many times have you done or said these same things? For me it is an all too familiar tune that keeps replaying in my head. I think that if I can just be better or do things in a way that is acceptable to others then I will be liked and ultimately loved. Performance based conditional acceptance is the trap that I put myself in time and time again. Does this make sense? Does it strike a chord in your heart? Is this the way that God works?
I thought that God worked this way and I had to please Him, if I didn’t then he would punish with disapproval and bad circumstances. So in order to fight this I would put on a mask to everyone. The mask was by creating this person that I thought everyone wanted to see or the person that would be accepted. This guy was great……He always said “YES” so he would not disappoint others. He tried his best to excel in sports, school and career. Failure was not an option. Failure happened but I was good at hiding it so no one could tell. Minimize the damage to the mask.
Of course we all make mistakes, we are human and flawed. I struggled and fought to accept this though. I worked extra hard to not make mistakes. Perfectionism became my god. When I unconsciously chose this life, I heaped a pile of trouble into my lap. By hiding my mistakes meant hiding my sins as well. By doing this I was creating a breeding ground for more sin because sin needs darkness and seclusion to grow. Only when it is exposed to the light will sin slow and dissipate. My mask became bigger and greater as the years progressed. The funny thing is that my mask was created so I would feel the love and acceptance of others. Why did I still feel so empty and tired all the time. I was doing all it took to be loved in public and secretly trying to fill that void in private with an addiction to pornography and lust. It only created momentary satisfaction and then deep despair and depression. I had the intentions to be all that God would be pleased with, but was failing miserably. I had two lives and my mask had to become bigger so I could get more love and flee from the darkness I felt inside. It was ripping me apart! If people knew what I was really like then my world would come crashing down. My acceptance by others would be turned into disapproval and condemnation. If they knew what my daily thoughts were my mask would be crushed.
The scary part was the internal struggle of who I was? Was I this evil person riddled with sin and no way out or was I the man that I thought God wanted me to be? I could feel his presence and at times saying lay down the mask and trust me. The problem was the mask was too big and fastened too tight. It was the only true security that I could tangibly hold. How could I let anybody in? They would surely see me as the evil one that I felt inside. I knew that they approved of the person that they saw on the outside. So I just thought I needed to try harder and be better. My intentions were good. I thought I would be fine.
Does this description of who I was stir up any similarities in your own life? This was who I was a few years ago. Do I still have these thoughts? Yes, at times they creep back into my mind and heart when I allow them. How did I stomp out these lies? I came to conclusion that I could not, it was only by God’s power that my heart and mind was changed. That is when I walked out of the room of good intentions and into the room of GRACE. The room that I am learning to live in each day.....the key word is" learning".
Thursday, February 24, 2011
What is the Tune of Your Life?
Today is day 3 of the show here in Baltimore. We are at the halfway point and my body is growing weary and tired. My mind is tiring and wondering how God will show up for my business....or will HE? I keep returning to the fact that HE has always taken care of me and will continue to give what we need....not what we want or desire.
Looking beyond the show today I want to reflect on something that happened to me yesterday morning. I had to make a service call to a customer in the morning, but had to get into my booth at the show because I had forgotten the address and customer information there the night before. Security is pretty tough in the off hours of the show, so I had to beg the guards to let me in that early in the morning. While I was waiting, another gentleman came in and needed to get in to his booth as well. As we talked he explained that he had to pack up his booth and get on a flight back home to Oregon. He proceeded to tell me that his son called and said his wife was in the hospital and not sure what her status was at that moment. He explained that he feared a stroke or anuirism. He was obviously stressed and worried. When I said my name he said that he remembered me from last years show. He said that he read my biography that I printed in the front of my catalog and thought it was interesting and nice. Before he left I asked for his wife's name and said I would pray for her and him as he traveled back. He thanked me and moved on quickly.
I was thinking about the encounter later that day when I really wondered what he meant when he commented about my bio. Was it my reference to my faith? It made me think how am I presenting myself? Do I allow others to see the real me? Or do I give them a he mask that I feel comfortable showing them? (Will share more about masks tomorrow) Obviously something touched him enough to remember what I wrote about. It opened my eyes to the fact that we make impressions on people even when we don't realize it.
I have been moved by this song by Need to Breathe called The Garden since I heard it the first time, but God penetrated my heart with it today. It spoke to me in way that I could draw new inspiration that would regenerate my tired and weary body and soul.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li8aiGtNyZo
My prayer today and as I move forward is found in the chorus of this song...."Let the songs I sing, bring to you, Let words I say profess my love, Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune, Father let my heart be after you!"
What is the song you're singing, the words you are saying, and the notes of your daily thoughts and actions?
I know mine are not always in tune, but when I submit myself to HIS, my key changes and aligns in beautiful harmony with HIM.
Looking beyond the show today I want to reflect on something that happened to me yesterday morning. I had to make a service call to a customer in the morning, but had to get into my booth at the show because I had forgotten the address and customer information there the night before. Security is pretty tough in the off hours of the show, so I had to beg the guards to let me in that early in the morning. While I was waiting, another gentleman came in and needed to get in to his booth as well. As we talked he explained that he had to pack up his booth and get on a flight back home to Oregon. He proceeded to tell me that his son called and said his wife was in the hospital and not sure what her status was at that moment. He explained that he feared a stroke or anuirism. He was obviously stressed and worried. When I said my name he said that he remembered me from last years show. He said that he read my biography that I printed in the front of my catalog and thought it was interesting and nice. Before he left I asked for his wife's name and said I would pray for her and him as he traveled back. He thanked me and moved on quickly.
I was thinking about the encounter later that day when I really wondered what he meant when he commented about my bio. Was it my reference to my faith? It made me think how am I presenting myself? Do I allow others to see the real me? Or do I give them a he mask that I feel comfortable showing them? (Will share more about masks tomorrow) Obviously something touched him enough to remember what I wrote about. It opened my eyes to the fact that we make impressions on people even when we don't realize it.
I have been moved by this song by Need to Breathe called The Garden since I heard it the first time, but God penetrated my heart with it today. It spoke to me in way that I could draw new inspiration that would regenerate my tired and weary body and soul.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li8aiGtNyZo
My prayer today and as I move forward is found in the chorus of this song...."Let the songs I sing, bring to you, Let words I say profess my love, Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune, Father let my heart be after you!"
What is the song you're singing, the words you are saying, and the notes of your daily thoughts and actions?
I know mine are not always in tune, but when I submit myself to HIS, my key changes and aligns in beautiful harmony with HIM.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Putting Yourself Out There
This week I am exhibiting at the Baltimore Fine Craft Show. It is biggest show of all that I exhibit in each year. It is kind of the Superbowl of shows. It has a great buying public and has consistently been a lucrative show. As I stated yesterday traveling and exhibiting at shows has been very taxing on my physical, mental and emotional self each show season. I am separated from my routine, family and all that is familiar. I have made decisions while on the road that has hurt my family, my marriage and my relationship with Christ. I can honestly say that it is only by the grace of God that I am still married, doing a job that I love and able to serve others with a love and grace that was given to me by Christ.
I mentioned earlier that this show season was going to be different. I felt as though God has something more for me reaching beyond just selling furniture. He has been increasing my awareness to my feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. They seem to peak at the beginning of each show. I see all the competition and immediately put myself in a category that is inferior. In my mind I hear things such as "you don't belong here", "your pieces are crap", "you won't sell anything". My eyes have been opened to see these as blatant attacks of the enemy. He knows that if I would allow those thoughts to consume me then the hook is set for me to walk a path to ways of medicating those feelings of worthlessness.
What has changed now? I have worked hard to learn about these feelings, understand when they happen and how to combat them with truth. It has only been by counseling, thoughtful friends, a loving wife and a gracious heavenly Father that my awareness has been increased and my ability to transparent to others and especially myself.
As I thought about this yesterday, I realized the parallel between how being open and honest in my life and exhibiting my work can be drawn together. As I put a part of me into each piece and put it out for all to see it opens myself up to both praise and criticism. I can either allow both the praise and criticism to define me or I can allow God's truth to define me.
In the past I would allow what others thought and said, along with the lies of the enemy to define who I was or could be. On the outside I was trying to be ok, but on the inside I was dying to thoughts of worthlessness and self deprecation. Once I realized how damaging this was to myself and others I learned that true transparency was the only way for me. I am a work in progress, but my furniture is an extension of who I am as a furniture maker, but not a definition of who I am.
I am:
- A child of the King
- redeemed by the Blood of Christ
- a father
- a son
- A husband
- A friend
- A leader
- An encourager
- loved no matter what I have done
- given Grace not for I have done, but because of what He has done for me
And the list could go on. I am working on sharing my story with whoever asks whenever they ask. I know that if I can share my sins and shortcomings, it only gives more praise to God because what He is doing in my life. So as people praise the furniture, it flows through me to HIM. He gave me the ability and the stage to proclaim Him from.
What about you? How are you defined? By the world or by Christ?
I mentioned earlier that this show season was going to be different. I felt as though God has something more for me reaching beyond just selling furniture. He has been increasing my awareness to my feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. They seem to peak at the beginning of each show. I see all the competition and immediately put myself in a category that is inferior. In my mind I hear things such as "you don't belong here", "your pieces are crap", "you won't sell anything". My eyes have been opened to see these as blatant attacks of the enemy. He knows that if I would allow those thoughts to consume me then the hook is set for me to walk a path to ways of medicating those feelings of worthlessness.
What has changed now? I have worked hard to learn about these feelings, understand when they happen and how to combat them with truth. It has only been by counseling, thoughtful friends, a loving wife and a gracious heavenly Father that my awareness has been increased and my ability to transparent to others and especially myself.
As I thought about this yesterday, I realized the parallel between how being open and honest in my life and exhibiting my work can be drawn together. As I put a part of me into each piece and put it out for all to see it opens myself up to both praise and criticism. I can either allow both the praise and criticism to define me or I can allow God's truth to define me.
In the past I would allow what others thought and said, along with the lies of the enemy to define who I was or could be. On the outside I was trying to be ok, but on the inside I was dying to thoughts of worthlessness and self deprecation. Once I realized how damaging this was to myself and others I learned that true transparency was the only way for me. I am a work in progress, but my furniture is an extension of who I am as a furniture maker, but not a definition of who I am.
I am:
- A child of the King
- redeemed by the Blood of Christ
- a father
- a son
- A husband
- A friend
- A leader
- An encourager
- loved no matter what I have done
- given Grace not for I have done, but because of what He has done for me
And the list could go on. I am working on sharing my story with whoever asks whenever they ask. I know that if I can share my sins and shortcomings, it only gives more praise to God because what He is doing in my life. So as people praise the furniture, it flows through me to HIM. He gave me the ability and the stage to proclaim Him from.
What about you? How are you defined? By the world or by Christ?
Life as a "carnie"
The months of February and March are my busiest months of the year for travel. I exhibit at 4-5 shows in about 8 weeks. I feel like one of those carnival people who set up the rides and games and then tear them down and move to the next town and do it all over again. It wears on me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not to mention that it wears on my wife and kids too while I am away. We call it the trade off for being able to work at home and spend most of my days with them. Nevertheless it takes its toll.
As I approached this season I felt a strong urging to make sure this round was different. I felt as though God was saying to me" I have something for you this year if you allow me to show you". Honestly the shows are my weakest point in my relationship with Christ. I am separated from all who know me and my routine is completely different. In the past my struggles and sins happened while on the road. It was easy to be picked off by the enemy when you are separated from the flock! So I share with you today because I have found that transparency allows light into my dark places and gives glory to Him, not me.
2 Corinthians 11:30 NIV
As I approached this season I felt a strong urging to make sure this round was different. I felt as though God was saying to me" I have something for you this year if you allow me to show you". Honestly the shows are my weakest point in my relationship with Christ. I am separated from all who know me and my routine is completely different. In the past my struggles and sins happened while on the road. It was easy to be picked off by the enemy when you are separated from the flock! So I share with you today because I have found that transparency allows light into my dark places and gives glory to Him, not me.
2 Corinthians 11:30 NIV
If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.
Many of you have been curious about what I do and how these shows work. This week I am in Baltimore and want to share my experiences with you. He has laid it on my heart to do so for me to focus away from what distracts and drags me down as well as maybe what I am feeling and writing my touch your life some way. I don't know where you are with Jesus, but maybe He is knocking on your hearts door and you are busy hiding.
Tomorrow I want to share about how putting my work out for others is parallel to exposing your true character to others. It can be scary and freeing all at once!
Today I want to share an experience that happened last night as we walked back to the hotel. Mark and I were making the 15 minute walk back last night and a man came up and introduced himself. Then he proceeded to tell us a long story about how he is here for a conference and as he was going to leave the key broke off in the car door, then the police opened the door for him, but it was the key was also the ignition key. His wife could not be reached on his cell phone, and he needed $17 to combine with his $3 to take the train home to get his spare key. I know you are probably saying this guy is scamming us. Most would but I was not qualified to make that call. He proceeded to tell us he is not homeless and this is the truth. As I gave him a $20 bill he said "God bless you guys." I asked him if it was alright to pray for him and he responded "sure!" So there we were three guys holding hands in the middle of a busy Baltimore street praying. When I finished he was in tears and astounded that we helped him. He looked up, kissed the cross on his neck and said thank you to the sky.
We did no miracles, no great public deeds, just listened to a man reach out for help and were compelled to give. I think how many times have a I walked by someone and judged whether or not they are scamming people or really in need? To my own fault I tend to believe the best in people. Maybe they are not homeless or in need, but I can only do my part to help when I am asked. That night I believe God placed me on that street to see whether or not I was wrapped in myself or in HIM.
How about you? Are you willing to see what HE sees or are you blinded by yourself?
Many of you have been curious about what I do and how these shows work. This week I am in Baltimore and want to share my experiences with you. He has laid it on my heart to do so for me to focus away from what distracts and drags me down as well as maybe what I am feeling and writing my touch your life some way. I don't know where you are with Jesus, but maybe He is knocking on your hearts door and you are busy hiding.
Tomorrow I want to share about how putting my work out for others is parallel to exposing your true character to others. It can be scary and freeing all at once!
Today I want to share an experience that happened last night as we walked back to the hotel. Mark and I were making the 15 minute walk back last night and a man came up and introduced himself. Then he proceeded to tell us a long story about how he is here for a conference and as he was going to leave the key broke off in the car door, then the police opened the door for him, but it was the key was also the ignition key. His wife could not be reached on his cell phone, and he needed $17 to combine with his $3 to take the train home to get his spare key. I know you are probably saying this guy is scamming us. Most would but I was not qualified to make that call. He proceeded to tell us he is not homeless and this is the truth. As I gave him a $20 bill he said "God bless you guys." I asked him if it was alright to pray for him and he responded "sure!" So there we were three guys holding hands in the middle of a busy Baltimore street praying. When I finished he was in tears and astounded that we helped him. He looked up, kissed the cross on his neck and said thank you to the sky.
We did no miracles, no great public deeds, just listened to a man reach out for help and were compelled to give. I think how many times have a I walked by someone and judged whether or not they are scamming people or really in need? To my own fault I tend to believe the best in people. Maybe they are not homeless or in need, but I can only do my part to help when I am asked. That night I believe God placed me on that street to see whether or not I was wrapped in myself or in HIM.
How about you? Are you willing to see what HE sees or are you blinded by yourself?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Can You Have Me?
Once again it has been some time since I last wrote my thoughts down to share with others. When I ponder the reasons I come up with many excuses and reasons I have not taken the time, but deep down I felt like I had nothing to share that would impact the lives of others. Has my mind changed.....not really......but I decided that when I write it helps me collect my thoughts and gain some more understanding to the mystery and journey that I am on with Christ.
Since I last shared in Sept. so much has happened. Andrea and I continue on this journey each day wondering what could be next? We felt called to leave our home church last summer and step out to be in a new church plant here in Springfield. If you have ever walked through that process......it was hard. Through it all though I felt like God kept saying to us. "What are you holding onto more than me?" Did we want to hold onto the comforts the familiarity of friends, areas of service, and all that we had been accustomed to for the past 10 years? Or did we submit to His calling and step out in faith to trust that His plans are greater than what we can conjure? We took the step out because the recurring theme that has guided us for the past year let go of all you hold onto more than God himself. It is tough and easy all in the same breath. It is hard to let go of your human tangible comforts. On the other hand when you realize that those comforts are short lived and fleeting, it is easy to grasp onto the unchanging and unfailing love of Christ. He won't let go, won't lead astray, or let you down.
Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plan's in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I have had so many plans in my life, plans that I thought were good and ashamedly plans that I had for sin to quench my lustful heart. No matter what the plans I made, guess what? God's plans always superseded my own. I can't out plan, out think, or out smart Him. Believe me I have tried, but when my desires don't mesh with His plans.......failure!
So where does this leave me? I resolved to try and follow His plans. My plans have led me down paths that were selfish and destructive. When I take my eyes and focus off Christ life becomes a mess. Why? We have an enemy that seeks to hurt and destroy us to wound God. Whether you acknowledge it or not the enemy lurks around you waiting for the right moment to pounce!
How do you let go and follow His plans? I recently heard this song by Sidewalk Prophets and the words have burned into my memory. The lyrics:
"If I saw you on the street and you said come and follow me, but I had to give up everything, all I once held dear and all of my dreams.....would I love you enough to let go or would my love run dry when ask for my life?"
Listen to the link below and see if you find an answer to what God is calling for your life? I realized that I had to let go of my selfishness and perception of what the world says for my life.
"If you're all you claim to be, then I am not losing anything" My life has changed for the better with this perspective. Am I perfect no....just human striving to mirror God's heart!
http://youtu.be/rdgg7XmTWls
Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plan's in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I have had so many plans in my life, plans that I thought were good and ashamedly plans that I had for sin to quench my lustful heart. No matter what the plans I made, guess what? God's plans always superseded my own. I can't out plan, out think, or out smart Him. Believe me I have tried, but when my desires don't mesh with His plans.......failure!
So where does this leave me? I resolved to try and follow His plans. My plans have led me down paths that were selfish and destructive. When I take my eyes and focus off Christ life becomes a mess. Why? We have an enemy that seeks to hurt and destroy us to wound God. Whether you acknowledge it or not the enemy lurks around you waiting for the right moment to pounce!
How do you let go and follow His plans? I recently heard this song by Sidewalk Prophets and the words have burned into my memory. The lyrics:
"If I saw you on the street and you said come and follow me, but I had to give up everything, all I once held dear and all of my dreams.....would I love you enough to let go or would my love run dry when ask for my life?"
Listen to the link below and see if you find an answer to what God is calling for your life? I realized that I had to let go of my selfishness and perception of what the world says for my life.
"If you're all you claim to be, then I am not losing anything" My life has changed for the better with this perspective. Am I perfect no....just human striving to mirror God's heart!
http://youtu.be/rdgg7XmTWls
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Staying out of the shell!
I have been in a slightly depressed mood lately. My workload is dwindling and money is getting tight. I have felt each day like I am being repeatedly punched and knocked down. Then I realize I am allowing this to happen willingly. Why? I stand there and let it happen without calling on my God to step in for me. I run and hide from Him and go to the closet of self-pity and self-degradation. I knew I was there, but could not find a way out on my own. It took a brother on Wednesday morning to ask the questions that brought God's answer out me. I had them but did not know how to retrieve them on my own. God wanted me to be obedient to going to the group that day and have a heart that would be willing to answer the question when asked honestly and openly. He does not always just offer the answers for free. He asks us to step into the river or out of the boat and then we are rewarded with His faithfulness. If we don't strive to see Him we can miss what He is teaching during the moment. What was the answer I was given?
"Don't crawl into your shell? Don't shut down! Don't give up! I have your best interests in my hands. Even when it is darkest, my light still will shine! " What does all this mean in human terms. My life was tethered to so many things. Relationships with friends, serving in certain ways at church, financial security, a job that was successful and an image of having it all together. These are all the places that Satan showed up in to try and draw me a away from feeling God's presence in a real way. Ways to slowly chip away at who I am in Christ. I was holding onto those things with one arm and reaching for God with the other. With me grasping at two things I could not move forward. I was just caught hanging until I let go with one hand. What should I let go of? What are you contemplating to let go in your life?
These lyrics from the song "Something Holy" by Stellar Kart gave my heart and mind peace about uncertainty:
You say that the wells run dry.
And there's no more tears to cry.
You're searching for something real.
To make you feel.
You Know that you're incomplete.
A song with a broken beat.
There's a hole in all our hearts.
And there's a reason why!
We were born to be,
A part of something holy.
All of us are restless until we find.
We were born to be,
A part of something holy.
Bigger than, bigger than
You and I.
Bigger than all our lives.
I was born for something more. I don't know what that is down to the details, but it was not to crawl into my shell, but to stay open and honest with God, myself and others. My human nature is corrupted, but by God's design I strive for something bigger than me. Are you in circumstances that are causing you to withdraw from others, move into secret sin, and shutdown. Push out of it by calling on God and others around you.
"Don't crawl into your shell? Don't shut down! Don't give up! I have your best interests in my hands. Even when it is darkest, my light still will shine! " What does all this mean in human terms. My life was tethered to so many things. Relationships with friends, serving in certain ways at church, financial security, a job that was successful and an image of having it all together. These are all the places that Satan showed up in to try and draw me a away from feeling God's presence in a real way. Ways to slowly chip away at who I am in Christ. I was holding onto those things with one arm and reaching for God with the other. With me grasping at two things I could not move forward. I was just caught hanging until I let go with one hand. What should I let go of? What are you contemplating to let go in your life?
These lyrics from the song "Something Holy" by Stellar Kart gave my heart and mind peace about uncertainty:
You say that the wells run dry.
And there's no more tears to cry.
You're searching for something real.
To make you feel.
You Know that you're incomplete.
A song with a broken beat.
There's a hole in all our hearts.
And there's a reason why!
We were born to be,
A part of something holy.
All of us are restless until we find.
We were born to be,
A part of something holy.
Bigger than, bigger than
You and I.
Bigger than all our lives.
I was born for something more. I don't know what that is down to the details, but it was not to crawl into my shell, but to stay open and honest with God, myself and others. My human nature is corrupted, but by God's design I strive for something bigger than me. Are you in circumstances that are causing you to withdraw from others, move into secret sin, and shutdown. Push out of it by calling on God and others around you.
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